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Archikulture Digest
Number 4: April, 2000
Who says Seminole county doesn't encourage art among the artless? Rather than allowing the workingman to sit in a dark dingy bar paying $5 for a pony beer and stuffing his hard-earned dollars into some dancer's undies, it tried to give him some honest to God Art. Did people appreciate it? Of course not. This is central Florida, and now the working man is prevented from sitting in a dingy performance space paying $5 for a small Dinckle Acker and stuffing hard-earned dollars into the non-existent undies of some Shakespearian actor. Some days, I tell you, it's not worth chewing through the leather restraining straps.
True West
written by Sam Shepard
Directed by Frank Hilgenberg
Starring John Didonna, James Zelly, Bill Welter and Geri Mansfield
Theater Downtown, Orlando
You got your losers, and then you got your real losers. Austin (Didonna) is of the first sort, and Lee (Zelly) is more the second sort. Milquetoast Lee is working on a screen play (who isn't?) and has just about hooked a producer (Welter). Mom (Mansfield) pops off to Alaska, leaving Austin to sit house, mostly so drifter and small-time thief Lee won't cart off all the shiny stuff. More than just slightly psychotic, Lee likes Mom's sort of nice neighborhood, as there aren't too many barking dogs. With nothing much to occupy him until America goes to bed, he's "helping" Austin write, mostly by pacing around while drinking beer and smoking and asking if he should leave. Lee horns into Austin's meeting and steals the producer, convincing him to ditch Austin's play for his own ill-formed tale of a chase through Tornado Country. Only Austin has the typing skills to save the situation, but he's just a bit miffed at big bro' and ain't about to help, not even for the return of his car keys.
Packed with the deep psychological meaning and intense angst ready to rip away the surface veneer of polite society, "True West" contains the heavy drama one associates with the just off Broadway stage. Lee and Austin spend almost the entire play invading each other's personal space, and burst into sharply choreographed fights. DiDonna comes within in an inch of clocking Zelly for real. I hope these guys are still talking when this play is over.
Always the creepy scary intimidator, Lee morphs into the scared loser Austin. Austin's only real hope for success leaves with the producer, but he recovers some feeling of power over Lee, whose only hope of proving he is more than a bum involves conquering Austin's job. Austin follows Lee in fear, not knowing where the journey leads. Lee pushes on in fear, not knowing where he is going, just what he's running from. Neither is happy with what life has dealt them, and each is insanely jealous of the misery of the other. Yup, they're really brothers.
Anything Goes
Music by Cole Porter
Lyrics by P.G. Wodehouse and others
Director Mark Brotherton
Starring Cami Yankwitt, Daniel Robbins, Gianfranco Ferri, Julie Ruth Theater UCF
Let's slip away on the SS America for a luxury Atlantic crossing. The market's tanked, celebs are nowhere in sight, but the martinis are dry, songs never stop, and there's plenty of ice. Our hero, Billy Crocker (Daniel Robbins), serves as toady to Wall Street financier and amateur alcoholic Eli Whitney. Whitney fires him every morning, just on account. Billy stows away, hoping to woo his sweetie Hope Harcourt (Julie Ruth), now foolishly engaged to Count Andrea Maria Della Rosa (Ferri). Helping him hide is semi-ex-former-sometimes girlfriend and itinerant preacher Reno Sweeney (Yankwitt). Short on luggage but long on creativity, he disguises himself as a sailor, a Chinese convert, and then Public Enemy #1. This just get him a few frequent sailor miles until the star-starved passengers demand a star, no matter how dim, and he'll do. Girls? Oh, yeah everyone gets one. They're like party favors on this voyage.
Enough plot. The real star of this song & dance number are the tunes. You've got your toe tapping show stopper "Anything Goes", a couple of hits you remember from auntie's HiFi - "It's Delovely", "You're the Top" and "Let's Misbehave", and everyone's favorite paean to Bolivian Marching Powder "I Get A Kick Out Of You". This classic contains that great line "I get no kick from Cocaine". Right, Porter. We're with you all the way. Pretty much everyone gets a turn singing to the oldies, with Reno and Billy doing the heavy vocal lifting. Great supporting characters include Captain Kareem Bandealy and the two non-oriental converts, Luke and John (Robert Coll and Mike Saul.)
The cast remains in constant motion, up and down and back and forth on the lovely Art Deco set. A sliding staircase allows multiple grand exits, entrances, and arias. Luckily, no one gets crushed or steps where the steps ain't, because you'd hate to lose any of these characters. And if you've missed this boffo show, don't worry. I'll call you in the morning when you have a hangover, and tell you the rest.
Femmes Fatale
(aka "MacBeth in the Buff")
Written & directed by Morris Sullivan
Starring Miss Rae, Miss Christy, and Miss Scarlet
Club Juana
Is this a dagger I see in my hand? Oooh ...no, I guess not. A certain portion, a very large portion, of American society avoids the fine arts. The city of Casselberry, Florida wants to fix this, and in a unique way. The law forbids the simultaneous purchase of overpriced beer and nude dancing. The dancers must wear at least thong and large bandages, like those round ones you never no what to do with, on their naughty bits. However, if the performance involves Fine Art, you can get overpriced beer AND see total nudity. This distinction is quite fine, but oh so important.
A series of sketches, loosely based on important literary works, fills the runway - er, stage. We hear of Marquis De Sade questionable sexual morals, which leads to some light bondage and spanking. He was thrown in prison, and not one of these nice modern ones for these ideas. Today he would be a top ranked talk show host. After a bit of interpretive dancing (Think Isadora Duncan with pierced genitalia), we see a very clever piece on the pitfalls of sex via computer. While Miss Rae types on a blow up computer, Misses Christy and Scarlet mime the action, wearing nothing but black hoods and masks, aping the anonymity of the modern electronic world. Guess what - not everyone is who they seem on line!
The evenings highlight staged the three weird sisters scene from the classic Scottish play, Mac you-know-who. Arm in arm, our actresses danced around a steaming caldron of CO2, wearing nothing but those cheesy witches hats you get for your 8 year-old on Halloween. It looked good, but Scotland is not the sort of place one wants to visit in the buff.
Throbbing disco, icy cold AC, and about as many film crews as patrons opened this show for an indefinite run at on of Central Florida's cultural and architectural landmarks. I think the thoughts and minds of the regulars were uplifted. I know mine was.
Not The Worst of Discount Comedy Outlet
Starring Brian Bradley, Peter Hurtgen, Audrey Kearns and Anita Pritchard
Zoe & Company, Maitland Fla.
Let's flip through the re-runs channels and see what's on tonight - Oh look! The DCO's Greatest Hits Package is available from K-Tel, and it's packed with goodies! There's the hilarious Recruitment Center Sketch, with Brian convincing Peter to sign up for Homo training. Sure, it's expensive being gay, but look at the fab digs you get, plus there is financial aid available, not to mention the work study program. It's not just an adventure, it's a lifestyle.
Then there's the Blood Cult of Absolute Perfection, with pledge Brian about to get his noggin lopped, until Oh So Miss Perfect Audrey makes her own boo-boo. Perfect. Yeah, right. And let's not forget some expert marriage counseling as Mr. & Mrs. Nostradamus work through some problems, like his insistence on being correct EVERY SINGLE TIME. Wives absolutely hate this. Ask mine. It's the trouble if you marry a Psychic.
Marriage isn't a problem for the two always popular, always smoking Long Island Goils. They've come out to the cow pasture with hopes of seeing the Blessed Virgin and some men with tight abs and butts. They've brought that special drink - every thing in the back of the liquor cabinet, all mixed together. Pretty tasty, and when BVM finally does show, she pointedly mentions that both Sandy and Marie are skanks, and would they please not wear the vinyl pants?
Wrapping up this package of Guffawing To The Oldies brings us to the Trek-con-fab-o-rama, with guys geekier than ever was, arguing about the Stardate in episode 27 and doing better than life Shatners. Can Trekkies get sex? Would they know what to do with it if they had it? Could they trade it for a dilithium crystal upgrade?
The people spoke, DCO did a little creative recycling, and some of us picked up on a few sketches we missed first time around. Cheap? Heck, yeah, even for $9.95 plus shipping and handling. Phone now.
Ripped Pages - The Diary of Jack The Ripper
Written &directed by Roger Floyd
at Performance Space Orlando
"Vengeance is mine," saith the Lord, but sometimes we borrow it for a while down here. Jim Maybrick wants some, as his indiscreet wife wanders off to spread her legs for another. Alone and frustrated, he finds a thrill better than getting off by himself - offing others who get in his way. Five whores bite the dust, with a pair lying there on stage for all. Dead? Sure. In hell? Yes, but not that much worse than the one they left. Maybrick's madness rises to bloodlust that comes from sublimating the lusting thrust into the sharp steel thrust. Confession might be good for his soul, but nowhere near the fun of the bloody act. Two corpses rise wraith-like to join the debate over the existence of A Loving God and Protecting Angels while Jim cum Jack T. Ripper taunts the police with bad poetry and blames death on everyone but himself. The girls have a poor sense of direction, or his wife forced him, and God didn't say "No" when he asked, it might rain, and anyway he enjoys it, so bugger off. It's oh-so nineties.
Hard work under difficult conditions is paid off as a portrait of incipient madness eats the soul while death slithers across the stage. Our two semi-dead supporting actresses range from eternal stillness to self-damnation and orgy and back to the soothing numb of darkness. Jack rants, rages, pounds his knuckles bloody, and smashes up the set. It's stream of conscious, and its a dark, scary stream you don't want to slip into. Strong language and strong imagery compete as manhood wilts into nothingness. The real question here is not "How can God let this horror happen?" but "What prevents more horror without God?"
House of Pomegranates
Written by Oscar Wilde
Produced by Joe DiDonna
A reading by The Central Florida Theater Alliance
Theater Garage, Orlando
Once upon a time, children heard stories with long words, complex actions, and simple morals. Today, children hear simple stories, 137 scientifically selected words, and ambiguous morals. Even the people reading this antiquity of Oscar Wilde's can't pronounce some of these words in "House of Pomegranates", a collection of Children's stories from the Victorian age. Two of these stories appeared in tonight's dramatic reading, "The Young King" and "The Fisherman's soul."
Young King grows up rude, raised by peasants after his mother loved well, but not wisely. Near death, the Old King retrieves the boy, acknowledges him as heir, and impresses him with the jewels and flummery of rank. Obsessed with peacock finery, a series of Dickensian dreams haunt the boy the night before his coronation. In his dreams, Young King observes the misery of those slaving to produce the jewels and baubles. Upon awakening, he rejects these tokens of rank, only to be rejected in turn by his people. "Are not the luxuries of the wealthy food for the poor?" Perhaps. But nonetheless, Young King holds to his ideals, and takes the throne. Strong words from such a natty dresser.
The Fisherman falls in love, captivated by a mermaid. To win her he must loses his soul, as the merfolk have no souls, nor may they consort with those that do. How to lose one's soul? So easy today, so hard in the tale. Abhorred by the priest, and rejected by the merchants, a young and beautiful witch tells him the secret of soul divorce. Sent on its own with no heart, the world corrupts poor Soul. After many years and many adventures, the soul connives back into it's corpus, and Fisherman must lose his love. What good is this soul? You can't see it, you don't know it, and it is nothing to you. Only love is real.
So goes the tales.
Sex Education in the Year 2000
Performance Space Orlando
Sex, sex, sex. Is that all people think about these days? Well, yes. That, and can I get in on this weeks hot IPO. But mostly sex. The PSO People Democratic Repertory Commune works through a dozen or so sketches on man's (and woman's) favorite past time, some old, some new, and some greatly improved. Highlight of the evening - the Great Debate, with Dawn Stahlak and Dave Mackey thrashing through the do's and donts and wills and wonts of oral sex. Not getting enough? Maybe you're not giving enough. It's a karma thing.
Blake Garden's "Mental Masturbation" starts slowly, with a nervous audience answering direct questions about their relation to Rosy Palm and her sisters, but build up to a climatic revelation of the sick and disgusting habit of reading - back and forth, back and forth, down, down, down a line, oh god, I need another page.. Excuse me. Carried away. Sorry. Where were we? Oh yes. "The Maurice Popular Show." Tabloid TV, and both Nicki and Tasha are ready to leave their otherwise loving men to take up with "Blake" and "Gianni," the sort of lovers who never fart in bed and don't get up to check out "Sports Center Tonight." Plus, "Blake" glows in the dark. Bet you can't do that.
"Perfect Days" bring out David and Dawn again, each going over their idea of how they plan to spend eternity. Cuddles, or 4 under par on the front 9 at Augusta? Shopping with friends, or wild sex with 2 nympho teenagers? A lavender bubble bath, or a bit of deep sea fishing on Bimini? You decide. Either way, wrap up the evening with an "Orchestrated Orgasm,", as improv attempts to conquer bad sex, with the cast and audience trying to fake each other's orgasm. You got any Kleenex? I thought not.
The Fantasticks
Written by Tome Jones (yes, that one)
Music by Harvey Schmidt
Starring Tracy White, Michael Horn, and Rick Laney
Moonlight Players, Clermont
In the cartoon world of 40 years ago, a Matt (Horn) and a Luisa (White) fall hopelessly in love. Mom and Dad built a wall, bringing them together by saying "No, you can't see that person." Now, how to get them married without revealing the setup? Why, let's stage a kidnapping - that's always fun! EmmCee and wandering vagabond El Gallo (Laney) does the deed with two sidekicks, Henry (Norm Posner) and Mortimer (Greg Powers), in a pretty cool strobe light sword fight. Happy ending? Not so fast - there's five more songs and a reprise. Matt heads off to find adventure and a black eye, and Luisa falls for El Gallo, who sings a ballad with her while standing atop a stage ladder. They do that in this sort of show, but it brings Matt back, El Gallo is 86'd , and NOW we have a happy ending. Okie Dokie.
In front of the enthusiastic crowd, Horn and White stand out. Horn has a beautiful and accurate voice, and with a little more vocal power he will travel far. White's voice is a bit more problematic, but her dancing and sheer stage presence show great promise as well. Laney's singing ran the gamut, with a weak opening "Try to Remember," but a brilliant duet with Matt "I Can See It." Mortimer and Henry provided a strong center, with their overwrought death scenes and butchered Shakespearean quotes.
"Fanatasticks" came together from the devoted efforts of enthusiasts, working with the material and resources at hand. Minimal sets had unused actors facing the back wall until needed, and the effect is a musical puppet show, with the waiflike Mute (Jennifer Bushwitz) directing the action from the sideline and sprinkling just the right sort of confetti at just the right time.
Carl F Gauze is a wealthy but reclusive student of the arts, semi-retired from a stellar career as an insurance calendar salesman. His real fortune derives from his great grandfather, Herman S. Gauze, who invented the sterile surgical dressing in Zurich shortly before the First World War. Because of Switzerland's neutrality and the obvious humanitarian uses of this bandage during the tragedy, he amassed a vast fortune selling the dressing to both sides. He's recently been looking at bikes, and can't decide between a Harley Fat Boy or a Vespa. Decisions, decisions...
