Bladejob
Some Girls Are Bigger...
David Bowie isn’t one to show emotion, or to get jealous, but this time he did both. He cried and he laughed and he hugged himself and he cursed himself all at the same time. David Bowie knew now that he wasn’t and could never be as perfect as Akira Hokuto, he knew that he could never speak to her, even though he loved her so much that it made his insides hurt. So he had to run. David Bowie ran back to London, back in time, the images of Akira Hokuto burned into his brain permanently. Three wrenching months of catharsis later, he created the Ziggy Stardust persona, and rock and roll was reinvented. But it didn’t really matter in the end, because the world was still waiting for HER. For Akira.
Ziggy Stardust could do many things mere mortals could not do, but even this alien had his limits. Could he, for instance, fly through the air, effortlessly landing on enemies? Doubtful. Could he lock on devastating submission moves, wrenching ankles, arms, shoulders, necks, all while wearing a fabulous array of capes, masks, gloves, rhinestones, velvet, silk, and jewels? Never. Could he stagger around the ring, covered in blood, staining bleach-blonde hair cut to look like Farrah Fawcett just because SHE knew SHE could? No. Could he come back from a career-ending back injury to slap around young pretenders to the throne that SHE never abdicated? Don’t make me laugh. Could he look at Americans with imperious disdain, breathing threw a jeweled oxygen mask because American air was “too dirty,” before calmly dispatching of America’s last hero in three matches IN A ROW? I don’t think he has the moral fibre. He couldn’t do any of this, but SHE could, with unimaginable poise and beauty. David Bowie is just another rock and roll star. Akira Hokuto is the Dangerous Queen.
Matthew Damascus, a trash-culture obsessive at best, has for too long ventured beyond the comforting fold of metal and noise-music criticism to vent about his unfaithful love, wrestling. He pouts too much during Monday Night Raw to be of any use to WWF fans, and he doesn't have the money to buy tapes. Frets about Raven quite a bit. He feels very silly right now.
