Bladejob
Archives
Will The Last One To Leave Turn Out The Lights?
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Matthew Damascus kills Bladejob dead with a single stroke. Plus, aesthetic lamentations for a wrestler? Que?
I Guess Nothing Really Changes
Saturday, September 21, 2002
Matthew Damascus shakes his head and mutters dark curses against the phony gay wedding angle on Smackdown, and then marks out over the Axl Rose comeback.
Back So Soon?
Monday, September 9, 2002
Is that Bladejob? Where did you come from? How about that WWE? How about that "HLA"?
Maybe Rocky Doesn’t Suck (After All)
Wednesday, May 16, 2001
An oddly optimistic look at the (timely) mainstream crossover appeal of the Rock, courtesy of "Bladejob". Yes, yes, but The Mummy Returns is still a piece of shit!
That Night Of Nights
Saturday, March 31, 2001
The by-no-means definitive guide to centering your whole April 1st around, yes, Wrestlemaniaaaaaaa! A "Bladejob" exclusive.
Some Girls Are Bigger...
Monday, March 5, 2001
Perhaps Ziggy could play guitar, but there were many things he could never dream of doing. Like wrestle, for instance. A mostly, really, probably true Bladejob investigation on Akira Hokuto.
Twenty Lightbulbs (Of Hope) For 2001
Tuesday, January 16, 2001
List-Mania is running wild all over Bladejob. Shudder in terror as Matthew Damascus struggles to pick out the bright spots for wrestling in 2001.
Bastard Obligatory Year-End List Mania Now
Saturday, December 30, 2000
It's time for Bladejob to dole out dubious year-end honors for the "best" that Wrestling had to offer in 2000. Objectivity and common sense went right out the window...
Goddamn! What A Disturbing Triple H Video!
Sunday, December 3, 2000
Goddamn! What A Disturbing Triple H Video! That really kind of says it all, doesn't it? Matthew Damascus critiques the cinematic techniques of a villain's intro video in "Bladejob".
What We Talk About (When We Don't Talk About Wrestling)
Wednesday, November 15, 2000
What We Talk About (When We Don't Talk About Wrestling). Anything else would be telling. It's Bladejob, it's new, it's overdue.
Michiku World Order, Bad Memory Redux, (what about) RAVEN!
Sunday, October 22, 2000
Matthew Damascus dusts off Bladejob and takes it for a trawl around the Web to find the ultimate Wrestling canon. Michiku Pro! High School Reunions! Raven Chat Rooms! There is a theme somewhere!
Ms. World Will Kill You (Part I)
Wednesday, September 6, 2000
Matthew Damascus returns to devote Bladejob entirely to the most fearsome woman in wrestling EVER-- spiked blue hair, capes, bound feet, Duran Duran makeup, and a brutal guillotine legdrop-- it has to be Bull Nakano.
Attitude!!! Do you GET IT?
Tuesday, July 25, 2000
Bladejob :: Attitude!!! Do you GET IT? :: Tuesday, July 25th, 2000
Akira Hokuto vs. Bull Nakano
Sunday, July 23, 2000
Bladejob :: Akira Hokuto vs. Bull Nakano :: Sunday, July 23rd, 2000
Vampire Weekend Warriors
Tuesday, July 18, 2000
Bladejob bites the hand that feeds it and watches the blood flow with a look at vampires and wrestling. Not what you'd expect. And more effusive praise for Steve Corino. Some would call it bad timing...
Rum, Sodomy And the Lash
Wednesday, June 7, 2000
The Sandman is a liability for ECW and he should be cut loose, says Bladejob. Avert your eyes from the naked drunk wrestlers in the ring, please. Trauma of the highest degree when ECW comes to Pensacola.
Miscellaneous Brooding + In Praise of Steve Corino
Monday, May 22, 2000
Bladejob delivers the insanity and rabble-rousing that can only come through watching too much wrestling in search of profound answers and art.
Your Wrestling Toy of the Week is- Justin Credible?
Wednesday, May 3, 2000
When I see Justin Credible, I don't think "eyebrows better suited for that creepy gossip writer on E! Gossip Show." What were they thinking? I realize that they are trying to avoid the Ziggy Stardust glam stigma of no eyebrows at all, but these eye-mustaches are ridiculous.
Not So Awesome Now...
Wednesday, April 12, 2000
Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Awesome is in the building. What can I say, I was sucked in by the hype and impressed by the execution. It's one of those surreal moments that ONLY happens in professional wrestling. Felt like one of those comic books where fucking Loki or the Red Skull shows up to fight Spider Man, and it's a total shock crossover, worlds colliding. For that one moment it worked. Awesome then proceeded to smash a crutch over Nash's body and flicked off the audience while the announcers sputtered on about how he had an ECW title defense on Thursday. Awesome, rocking the lustrous Bon Jovi mullet WITH fanny pack, and somehow pulling off the look, picked up the mic and...
Fucking Awesome?
Tuesday, April 11, 2000
But Awesome put on a great match without relying on splintering wood for their shock-value cheers. That is a mark of a true champion in ECW, when they can impress the increasingly blood-thirsty Mongol hordes with a match NOT involving blood, tables, or violence against women.
My Wrestlemania Hell
Friday, April 7, 2000
Matthew Damascus takes a break from normal continuity to discuss a ho-hum Wrestlemania 2000.
Deconstructing Those Hardy Boyz - Part One
Tuesday, March 21, 2000
And I'm straying from my original point, which is simply that, there are sites out there that have graphic depictions of 'a lucky fan' having a saucy/randy/raunchy threesome (preceded or followed by meaningful conversation and cuddling, mind you) with the Boyz that would make any tried-and-true indie wrestling fan faint dead away...
Mommy, Why'd You Let The Drunk Beat Me Up?
Friday, March 17, 2000
Ditch this gimmick like the plague. It's fucking bad, trailer park, crazy uncle, kind of shit. The snot rag doesn't make sense. The gesture in itself is not particularly vile or sinister, it's more bizarre like that kid who ate paste and boogers in second grade. AND RAVEN IS NO PASTE EATER!
