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Cat Dissections

Orlando (Part Last)

V.

A late night downtown. Almost made it to the car...

"Hey...yeah you...You believe in vampires?"

Awww fuck...not now...but what can you do--but bite?

"Yeah sure...occasionally."

"That's good...right good. I just met this guy tonight wearing fake fangs...told me he don't believe in vampires--that it was just for fun. Now that don't make a bit a sense cause you gotta think to yourself- where did the idea of vampires come from? Couldn't a' come from nowhere right?...so there must be something out there, and ya know what?"

Not a fucking clue, "What's that?"

"I know where they come from."

Why not, "Where's that?"

"England."

Oh yeah...makes sense.

A bum comes up to me and asks for a cigarette. I offer him a clove and he refuses...Dirty fucking bum, won't condescend to smoke a clove cigarette...he don't got a god damn place to sleep and won't smoke one of my god damn cigarettes...how unamerican is that?...

The vampire watcher continues...

"You know I'm wiccan and I know about this shit. I'm in touch with nature...had all my chakra's opened by those who know...If you ever want to know about this shit, I can't show you--but I can show you the way. Go see this old lady at this store called Herbs and Leaves...She's the real shit if you know what I mean..."

From my limited experience, I've found that vampires are mostly stupid creatures, pathological liars, and are usually only dangerous in packs. They come in all kinds--mostly white trash genre around here--but can be much more dangerous at higher levels. You don't want to fuck around with any lone wolves on a fuckin' mission. They are seductive and their danger is directly proportional to this seductiveness, unless...


Precipitate8 might just save you from botulism.