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Flash Fictions
Catch as catch can.
I'm never sure exactly what you should expect. Therefore, maybe you should stop expecting me to expect for you. These short fiction paragraphs, the surreal little tales are all I can offer. That and maybe a few coupons for fish and catfood. Every week a new odd adventure will appear in this space. After a few weeks , if the response is green and spacious, I'll even start playing off the words of your e-mails. I begin with snowchains.
Catch as catch can.
Baseballs make fine friends. They understand social dynamic intricacies, and are practiced in the oddities of picking up chicks. I'm not saying they're very strong or even have arms. But each stitch represents a conquest, and even the scent of military might is a sex magnet. Sometimes when my baseball and I go out to the bars, she'll buy me a few drinks and lament the lack of available women. Then when it seems obvious she won't be getting lucky, she'll lean over and try to kiss me. And although I might find her leathery skin and infinite curves physically appealing, I know that baseballs will never stray from their sexual orientation for long. Later that night she'll be angry, speeding at over ninety miles per hour down a snowy country road, and lose control, crashing into some fallow field. And then she'll call looking for a tow, because she's stuck and they don't make snow chains for baseballs.
Why Stop Now:
The Purpose of Fire.
Dry as a Bone.
Raising rabbits is not easy. No, no it's really not. If you get scared, e-mail me and I'll calm you down. Things being what things being.
