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Flash Fictions
No use crying over spilled milk.
They're coming for our dairy products. Across the wide, wide river they're paddling fast with sloppy strokes to reach us. If we befriend the Hulk, he might feel sorry for us and build a towering fortress to protect our wide variety of cheeses and flavored cartons of milk. Maybe if we hired Aquaman, he'd communicate with the river's aquatic life, commanding the fish to develop breasts and lactate. Superheroes can do so much more than destroy buildings, so much more than fly and punch, and shoot lasers from their bloodshot eyes. They want to help us make a better world. It's too bad we'll have to kill them. On this spiraling globe of foodchains and convertible futon furniture, we just don't have room for the genetically enhanced. We feel insecure enough when confronted with supermodels or super-sized burger meals. So, even if we have to live without ice cream, at least we won't have some annoying super girl or boy or dog trying to keep us from our God given right to destroy ourselves.
Raising rabbits is not easy. No, no it's really not. If you get scared, e-mail me and I'll calm you down. Things being what things being.
