Inconvenience Store
RIDICULOUSLY OVERRATED SURFSPOT REVIEW: Sebastian Inlet
Picture, if you will, a vision of hell. A hell wherein the damned are forced to rip and claw at each other for wretched scraps of a barely desirable item, an item that is made even less desirable by the very actions of the damned who fiercely vie for it's possession, in a greedy feeding frenzy of self- centered avariciousness.
Auschwitz?
Gulag Archipelago?
Attica?
Of course not! It's our very own SEBASTIAN INLET! World-renowned arena of scrapping and scrabbling over some of the worst surf the entire planet has to offer.
On its very best day, it hardly measures up to a ho hum session on the South Shore of Hawaii. And, in case you didn't know, the South Shore is the Kiddy Pond in Hawaii. It's where the weaklings and losers hide from the real deal as handed down at places like Sunset Beach or Log Cabins.
In California, Sebastian Inlet probably wouldn't even qualify as worthy of so much as a fricking NAME. They'd just call it "That crappy place over there, next to the real break." Anywhere else in the world and forget it. Nobody would give it so much as a second glance.
But not here! No siree!
Macho wannabees and posers come from miles around to try their hand at a dorfy beach break wave that has this stupid bounce deal coming off a man made object, creating a wave that's overhead for all of three feet down the line. After that, it's back to the same old three foot crap. Stay under the bounce, crop the photo closely, and (excepting the hideous weird bent look to it) people just MIGHT think you're riding a real wave.
Those of us in the know, know better.
It's a piece of shit and nobody is getting fooled here.
Oh yeah, drive for an hour, pay at the door, and paddle out to tilt with the windmills!
WooWOO! We're really surfing now! Watch me go!
Barf.
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A lifetime resident (despite having travelled all over the damn place at one time or another) of Central Florida, James MacLaren took a four-year degree in death thrills riding giant waves on the North Shore back in the 70's. Wound up in the inconvenience store following a lay off from the Cape, where he was involved with the construction of the Space Shuttle launch pads, among other things. Father of best son in the world.
